Sunday, July 23, 2017

Erap Is A Joke!

     I never like Erap. And the recent news about his Manila Bay photo-op fiasco made me dislike him even more. To see Erap Estrada now, running Manila as its mayor is so beyond belief. He's been kicked out of Malacanang in 2001 due to corruption charges, allegedly receiving Php400M from jueteng payola plus Php180M more from tobacco excise funds. Are we Filipinos really that forgetful and forgiving to re-elect people like Erap, over and over again? Or are we just a brown bunch of ignoramuses who get afflicted with dementia every election period? Maybe some of us hallucinate or hear voices that convince us politicians like Erap can be reformed.

    So now here he is, fulfilling his sworn duties and responsibilities (that's sarcasm), participating in a clean-up drive in Manila Bay. But what's wrong with the picture? Or more precisely, what's wrong with the video? Watch and you judge.

     Back in 2013, as a newly elected mayor, Erap said he was not Superman but he will rebuild Manila. I doubted him then, I doubt him more now. I remember one of my professors in college expressing her disgust when she interviewed Erap for Newsweek during his presidency. She said she was ushered into a room full of Erap's bodyguards and barkada, and they were apparently chugging down beers.  So she interviewed Erap in such an informal setting, drunk and slurring his words.

     There's one thing though that I like about Erap - his jokes and the jokes about him. He could be considered as a national treasure for those.  There are a handful of social media sites dedicated to his wisdom (sarcasm again) and comic timing (that is not sarcasm because he does really have good timing, thanks to his acting background). There are even books paying homage to this guy - Eraption: How to Speak English Without Really Trial (which tackles his "carabao" English) and Jokes Ni Erap. Below are some of his quotable quotes. Enjoy! 

Some of my fave made up jokes from Eraption:

  • According to Erap, a pronoun is a noun that's "no longer an amateur."
  • Erap says Joan of Arc is the wife of Noah. 
  • At a restaurant, after motioning with his hands several times to a waitress to get her attention, Erap complains to the manager. "I've been fingering your waitress for a long time, but she does not come." 
  • Interviewer to Erap : Mr. President, I understand that when you were young you were asthmatic.  Erap: No, that's not true... I've always been a Catholic.

(Image from

Actual lines from ex-prez  Joseph "Erap" Estrada.

When asked how he would rate his one-year-old presidency back in 1999:
"On a scale of 1-10, I'm between 75 and 80."

When asked if he's willing to kiss and make up with his nemesis Manoling Morato (who's rumored to be gay):
"Maybe I will be willing to make up, not kiss."

On the naysayers of his Cabinet members:
"Why should I revamp my cabinet that has been performing well? I think we should instead revamp those who are making criticisms."

On countering Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines allegation that reviving jai alai was anti-poor:
"Sa aking pananaw, walang masasabi na huhut-hutan ang mga mahihirap diro. Kung mahirap ka, e di wala kang pansugal (In my view, one cannot say that we are profiteering from the poor. Because the poor don't have betting money)."

Monday, February 20, 2017

The Duterte Series: Tongues Wagging, Tables Turning

     Back in September 2016, I wrote about the Davao Death Squad or DDS at the height of Edgar Matobato's testimony before the Senate's Justice and Human Rights Committee. I said back then "when there's smoke, there's fire" and right now the DDS rumor is fuelled some more by the recent revelation of retired SPO3 Arthur Lascanas, the alleged team leader of DDS.  And by the looks of it, Lascanas is ready to talk not only to the media but also to any investigative body.

     I fear that like Matobato, Lascanas will have bashers and detractors from all sides - Malacanang, Senate, Congress and Duterte's troll brigade. However, I'm very optimistic that their numbers - members and victims of DDS - will rise to show just how maniacal our president is. Yes, he's still got staunch supporters (how blind can they be?!) but soon more cracks will be found until Malacanang becomes a humungous sinkhole for Duterte and company to fall into. I would love to see the day when tables are turned, when Duterte sits before an inquiry and is being cussed by many while Radiohead's "Karma Police" plays in the background.

     For more on Lascanas' confession, including his role in his brothers' killings, please click this link

Friday, November 11, 2016

The Marcoses' Mind-Boggling Loot (Nasaan ang Hustisyaaaa?!)

     For the millennials who don't understand why there is so much brouhaha about Ferdinand Marcos' burial at the Libingan ng mga Bayani, here's just one facet of the Marcoses that's raising hackles in some quarters - their thievery. The former dictator and his family plus cronies raked in Philippines' wealth in cash and in kind while they're ruling and ruining the country for decades.     

     Marcos never officially won the record as the world's greatest thief (just like he never legitimately earned his Medal of Valor), but he could have gotten the Guinness title hands down. The list below, divulged by author Caroline Kennedy (not JFK daughter) in 1987, will give you an idea of the corruption and plunder of the Marcoses.      

     The following items appeared in the official custom list when Marcos and entourage arrived in Hawaii upon their exile. These were simply described as "household effects". Take note that the estimated amounts were  made in 1986 so by now their loot is at much higher value.
  • 22 Crates of Cash valued at $717 million dollars
  • 300 crates of assorted jewellery Value undetermined
  • $4 million dollars worth of unset precious gems contained in Pampers diaper boxes.
  • $7.7 million dollars worth of jewellery, including a gold crown encrusted with diamonds, three tiaras, 65 Seiko and Cartier watches
  • A box, measuring 12 feet by 4 feet, crammed full of real pearls.
  • A 3 foot solid gold statue covered in diamonds and other precious stones.
  • $200,000 dollars in gold bullion and nearly $1 million dollars in Philippine pesos

Just a few of Imeda's trinkets up for auction: Bili na po kayo

(Photo from

      As if we're not yet overwhelmed by the sheer amount of their "show money", Ms Kennedy continued:

"A week ahead of their departure 2000 tons of gold, worth $22 billion dollars, had been dispatched to Australia but, on a tip off, was intercepted by the vigilant Australian Customs. Weekly shuttle flights, transporting crates containing money, period furniture, antiques and Old Master paintings were reported to have flown to Hong Kong during the six months prior to their downfall in February 1986.
A further $250 million dollars worth of jewellery was also confiscated from a friend of Imelda’s who was caught smuggling them out of the country for her. 
And this was probably just the beginning. Over two decades later the Philippines government is still trying to locate all the Marcos assets. Imelda has not helped them. She has claimed the Fifth Amendment. She has obfuscated. She has bribed. And she has lied. She told the Philippines commission charged with retrieving the stolen funds:
If you know how rich you are, you aren’t rich. I have no idea how rich I am!”
Truly imeldific: Walang kupas, panay kumpas!
Following a request from the Philippines government, the Swiss government, for the first time ever in its history of secret banking, froze all assets they suspected of belonging to any member of the Marcos family. In the past five years the Swiss government revealed the existence of yet another Marcos account, holding almost $20 billion! And so it seems quite possible that one day we might actually find out just how rich the Marcoses were."   
  While in exile, the Marcoses continued their lavish lifestyle living in a multi-million dollar estate in Makiki Heights and regularly hosted parties and dinners to the rich and famous.        The Marcoses also amassed stocks and real property assets abroad including at least four properties in New York. In 2012, US authorities discovered "a fresh cache of dollars, prime New York properties and paintings worth as much as P1 billion", according to a report by the Philippine Daily Inquirer.      For full text of Ms Kennedy's report and to learn the full extent of the Marcoses' insatiable greed , you can visit

Friday, September 23, 2016

Funniest News Interview Ever

     This got me ROFL! I have to tell this news clip made my day. It's truly a welcome respite from news of rampant killings plus rampant corruption and swearing by our political leaders. Hope you enjoy this video, too!

Monday, September 19, 2016

The Duterte Series: Is his no.1 campaign promise now broken?

     During the campaign for the 2016 May elections, presidential candidates presented their campaign promises. They did so repeatedly and so zealously that they were foaming at the mouth.  We know all campaign promises, like all other promises, are often declared but rarely delivered.

Is Duterte's campaign battle cry just deadened or dead?

     But for people who have been clamoring for change, Duterte's promise to crack down on criminals got us all hoping - hoping that maybe this time a true harbinger of change is coming. And so D won an overwhelming mandate.

     D promised he's going to suppress illegal drugs along with other forms of criminality in 3 to 6 months.  He has given himself strict goals and deadlines. And millions of Filipinos took the bait.  For so long, evening news have been our staple of gore as criminals, particularly the riding-in-tandem elements, brazenly rule our streets.  D could be the man who could make criminals cower, just like how Dirty Harry did it with his "Go ahead, make my day" menacing utterance. Incidentally, Dirty Harry is known to be a fave character of D that our president gained the monicker Duterte Harry.  

     Many hoped for that D's promise. But earlier today, D asked for an extension. He said we should give him 6 more months to get rid of illegal drug problem. For some (that includes me) who are dismayed by the extrajudicial killings or the so-called deaths under investigation (DUI),  this is really bad news because this would mean prolonging the purges. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely for making our streets and homes safer. Sino ba naman ang ayaw na mawala na ang mga drug pusher at user sa ating lipunan?  But there must be a more humane way to accomplish D's promise.  A more holistic approach could be the appropriate response, digging deeper to find out why the drug menace is so prevalent in our country. The experts say poverty, lack of education and dysfunctional familial relationships are the dangerous dynamics that incite drug dependency. True, this approach needs more time and resources but this is going to spare lives and families.
     Aside from the war on drugs, I hope D will also focus on the other goals he mentioned on his campaign trail. I am strongly for getting rid of bureacratic red tape and employment contractualization, as well as improved health care for the poor and free irrigation to farmers.  I am not for the shift to federal form of government. I don't think a system change is the answer; rather, it should be the strict implementation of our existing laws and  ensuring our check and balance policy is intact. We may need to change the people running the system not the system itself.  Kung corrupt ang tao, corrupt din ang sistema. To me, no matter how roadworthy the bus is, it all boils down to its driver. If he's a reckless one, always driving under the influence, we're likely to get off track. I don't care much about horsepower and torque, all I care is getting there safe and sound.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Clash of Clan(g)s at the Senate Hearing on EJK and DDS

     The halls of the Senate is once again agog with clashing views and and clanging balls.  The inquiry on extrajudicial killings (EJK) under Duterte's administration has been going on and off for weeks now and it does offer interesting diversion for me.

     *Interesting to see Sen. Trillanes and Sen. Cayetano are now on the opposite sides of the ring, so to speak.  We saw them not long ago on the same side as they grilled to the bones the Binay camp, and now here they are on a pissing contest on the EJK case.  

     During the hearing last Wednesday Trillanes complained against Cayetano's "unli" or unlimited questioning, further describing his pee opponent as "out of order" - the sign you normally see outside our public comfort rooms.  

     "You are defending evil," Trillanes told Cayetano, apparently referring to Duterte.  Cayetano, meanwhile,  was indignant and complained of being trash-talked by Trillanes. And although Cayetano didn't back down from his "seatmate"s verbal intimidation, he decided to move to another seat.

    *Interesting also how lawyers like Cayetano can bend facts to their "truths". I remember the senator treating the reports of the Philippine Daily Inquirer  on the Binay's case as unbiased and gospel truths. Now he's calling the daily's headlines on EJK as prejudiced. 

    * "Politically motivated" is the term used by politicians who don't have anything to defend themselves against accusations hurled their way. We heard it from the Pork Barrel scam players to the so-called narco-politicos. And now, people in Duterte's camp are saying the same thing, that what Edgar Matobato has testified is purely "politically motivated". 

     *Of course, who are they kidding? Every big inquiry in the Senate and in the Congress is always politically motivated.  We clearly saw the motivation behind the jueteng payola inquiry involving Erap Estrada which led to his impeachment.  We saw the same motive in the plunder case against Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo which led to a long hospital arrest. Then there's the Chief Justice Renato Corona controversy which probably led to his early demise. And although a case is described as politically motivated, it does not mean there's not a grain of truth in it. Where there's a smoke, there's fire. So that means the clandestine Davao Death Squad or DDS could be really behind the enforced disappearances and summary executions of people down in Davao. Add this to the report released by WikiLeaks that as per US State Department intel there is a  "solid evidence" that indeed DDS does exist with Duterte at its helm. 

Where there's smoke, there's fire

(Photo source:

Friday, September 16, 2016

The Duterte Series: Just (Wido)Do It

     It looks like our Pres. D  is fast becoming Mr. Ambiguity.  Latest incident involves Indonesian President Joko Widodo concerning the case of convicted Filipina drug mule Mary Jane Veloso. According to news reports, Duterte has said to "go ahead" and carry out the execution if Mary Jane is found guilty under the Indonesian judicial process. Our local media has picked up the news after D's statements made headlines in Indonesia. A lot of us were dismayed because during the previous administration extra diplomatic efforts were carried out to save Mary Jane from execution.

      Mary Jane's case grabbed headlines because she insisted that she was duped into carrying 2.6 kilos of heroin into Indonesia in April 2010.  She was sentenced to death in October the same year but was spared via moratorium enacted by then Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono.  Her execution was reinstated thereafter with her death by firing squad set April 29 of last year but was granted a stay just minutes away from her execution. The Indonesian government decided to postpone her execution due largely to our government's appeal for reprieve while her case is being reinvestigated and also because of the public outcry the case has elicited across the globe.

Mary Jane Veloso: Living on a prayer

     D's camp is on the clarificatory stage ever since the news broke, saying that the president didn't really give the green light.  And today Widodo has clarified that what D actually told him was to "go ahead with the process in line with the law in Indonesia." But still the fat fact is our president didn't make an appeal to save Mary Jane.   For those who expect him to do otherwise, particularly Mary Jane's family, I'm sure they're disheartened by the news.  I personally didn't expect D to appeal because of his obvious stand against the illegal drug trade and its perpetrators.

Duterte: I didn't say "just do it" to Widodo (Photo

     Why is D so often misquoted, misinterpreted or misunderstood as his men alway allege whenever the president elicits criticisms for his statements? D blames the media or the people around him but never himself for the negative publicity.  His men always scramble to correct his numerous faux pas, both intentional and otherwise.  Maybe it's not the media who's on the err here as D and his men always like to point out.  I mean, if it only happens once or twice or is being committed by one or two reporters, he can argue that he's just being misquoted/misinterpreted/misunderstood. But it happens almost always.  It happens whenever he opens his mouth, whomever is listening to him.  It's obvious D lacks the communication skills needed for an effective national leader.  Our leader should espouse clarity, never ambiguity,  into which our country is being led to.  You don't say you do not condone extrajudicial killings in one interview then promotes bounty hunting and democide in another.  You don't say you respect human rights then later on adorn suspected criminals with bullet holes and placards.