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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

The Problem With Kris

Kaloka and kawindang-windang (to borrow gay lingo) is how I would describe Kris Aquino's latest headline-grabbing and head-turning (nakaka-windang nga!) caper.

It's all over the news that Miss Krissy has filed a temporary protection order (TPO) against former husband James Yap Wednesday last week. According to Kris, the once-apple-of-her-eyes Yap made "overt sexual advances" towards her in front of their son Bimby. Unlike in the hard court, cager Yap didn't score with his former wife apparently. In his defense, Yap tearfully told the media (in between sniffs) that Kris' version was untrue, that he just wanted to assure their son that there's no enmity between them, and that Krissy overreacted. He also revealed that Kris threatened him with her brother's position - her brother is, of course, President Benigno Aquino III.


I think it was two days after the request for TPO that I saw Kris together with her three sisters being interviewed by Ted Failon. And my reaction was "Are they all loons?!" Makisawsaw ba naman sa alitan on national TV, e, samantalang ang dapat i-advise at suportahan nila ay si PNoy on crucial issues besetting the country. I mean they can lend their support behind the cam - the Aquino name has been dragged into controversies by their little sister that mostly relate to her romantic and prurient interests. 

As expected from this kind of controversy, wherein both parties involved are popular public figures, there's going to be a long word war thus the recent issuance of the gag order by the court. Of course, we don't  know who's telling the truth - this is a classic example of the "he said/she said" argument -  but I tend to symphatise with anyone that is on the opposing side of Kris. There's always this observation that Kris creates two clashing views among us Filipinos, that's more divisive and wider than the earth-changing continental drift. With Kris, you either totally love her or totally hate her. I belong to the latter group because the problem with Kris is that:

-- she does not know when to shut up. Kris is just like the 7-Eleven convenience store - her mouth is open 24 hours a day. Every time I  chance upon her shows, she has opinions on everything that she rarely gives her guests the chance to talk. Miss Krissy tends to manipulate her shows with her gift of gab. Obviously, "no dead air" is her mantra.

-- she washes dirty linens in public often. She readily reveals on national TV even the most sordid details of her life. Remember the STD controversy involving actor Joey Marquez, one of her high-profile love affairs? Some would admire her for being vocal and open. Well, I don't. Fact is, I don't consider her very vocal at all but vulgar.  There are things that are better left unsaid to let the public mull over some issues and speculate - a woman should keep her mystery.

-- she's a captcha. I mean, despite Kris' "openness" about her personal life I can't help but wonder if I'm reading her right. In most of her confessions, she projects herself as the victim but the last scene always shows her former lovers kissing dirt.

-- she calls her son Bimby. For crying out loud, I wouldn't name one of my dogs "Bimby". At his age right now, Bimby can tolerate the pet name but he won't find it endearing once he reaches maturity.

-- she uses Blackberry as a verb. "I'll just Blackberry you," she said to someone when she was still with The Buzz.

-- she's too burgis. In one of her commercials with her son Bimby, there's the unmistakable yaya figure in the the background. Flaunting wealth seems to be the hobby of some; however, some are more vulgar than others. On many occasions, I see these people in public places (especially in malls) who got yayas in tow, garbed in their uncomfortable uniforms running after kids suffering post-tantrums. The setup is too medieval and very degrading to household help. Serfdom is a thing of the past, ano ba kayo?! 

--  she can't act but acts as if she does. Self-explanatory.


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